On Chinese "alternative" DVDs

As hard as Iran may try, you just can’t beat China as most entertaining country ever.

Someone bought a few DVDs last week, including new releases such as Ocean’s 13 and Shrek the Third. [for the uninformed, I would never buy such products, as I live lawfully and abide by government regulation, at all times]

The DVDs, however, are very professional-looking. They come in a hard cover, and the DVDs themselves are also completely original. We were, then, admiring the quality of these items, and came across hilarious descriptions of the movies, such as:

Music and Lyrics – The movie stars Keanu Reeves as a Etective that deals with the supernatural who helps a female police officer fight against the forces of evil in order to save her twin sister’s soul from the forces of evil. The story is OK but it lacks a bit of originality and some of the acting is not really…

Basically, the people who made these DVDs thought that they could just write any description in the cover, as long as it fit the given area of the layout. Also, they took the opportunity to provide their own opinion of the story and acting in another film!

And it is also worth noting that the movie information in the bottom contains Brad Pitt, Edward “Aorton”, starring in Fight Club. Why bother getting the right credits, right?

Shrek the Third – “History Lake 3”, the green monster with Biyouna princess married, happy to return to the family home, But as “remote” the king and queen is not the ultimate dream. Lake father-in the history of King Harold sick bed, History of Lake received a difficult task: finding a suitable successor or give up his beloved swamp to inherit the throne.

Ocean’s Thirteen – Focusing on the matter in Las Vegas started a robbery, in order to complete the task, with the former enemy Terry (Aermoxinuo) joined hands to launch the operation… This time the “Lohan lineup”, a gathering of stars, with the exception of the first two focused Brad Pitt. Congressman Diamond Jiaochikeluni and timely “return”, the part of the “Godfather” trilogy. “windfall” and “Bamian”such classic crime films Aermoxinuo. “leap emotional sea”, actress Ailunba Kindu in the film appearance. The former two sets of Zhuliya Roberts because of busy Broadway theatrical production “The three days of rain” (ThreeDa ysofRain) have no time to take time off and tour, but that does not rule out “a little revealed” a possibilily.

Got it?

Eventually, we came across this amazingly well written movie description in The Contractor. “How boring”, we thought. Our disappointment did not last for long. A few minutes later, someone said: “Wait. Sean Penn is not in The Contractor! Jude Law is not either! And Kate Winslet? Has Anthony Hopkins even starred in a movie with these people?!”

The covers ended up being much more entertaining than the movies themselves. Ahmadinejad has to step up his game if he wants to stay in the competition.